It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
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Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
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There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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