is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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