Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't deserve a penis
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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