wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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