me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
