5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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