Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
