you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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