No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
