I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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