Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
