yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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