i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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