brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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