I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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