you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize