Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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