There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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