I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
