Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
