Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She told me I should be a condom model.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
