we have officially lost it.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize