We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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