This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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