Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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