Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
