I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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