he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
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