He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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