doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
