so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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