I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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