I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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