im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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