If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
