By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize