i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
