i will never coherently bang her
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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