none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
