Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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