so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
