that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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