put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
