he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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