Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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