You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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