Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
