Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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