hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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