quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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