I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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