Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just want to make out with him forever
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
