It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
