sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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