We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
