Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
