I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
