why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
