we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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