I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
