I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
